The names that staplers call themselves


With thanks to the late, great Gary Larson, whose Far Side cartoon “The names that dogs call themselves” inspired this post.

We have been managing with the same box of 5,000 desk staples for about the past 12 years, so the purchase of a new box was quite an occasion (and all for 99p!). But before I binned it, I read the old carton, which yielded this legend:

“To fit Cartwright Brice 10-86 stapling machines. Also Rexel stapling machines: Jupiter, Taurus, Saturn, Matador, Sirius, Meteor, Miniplier, Cosmos, Long Arm 5616, Comet, Jaguar and Gazelle”.

I had no idea that a humble desk accessory could have dreams of the stars or the veldt! Poor old double-barrelled CB though – no imagination there.

What are your favourite names for inanimate objects?