The names that chairs call themselves

Number 3 in an occasional series: 1 was staplers, and 2 was caravans.

I was amused to see in the latest fURNITURE@work catalogue™ that office chairs obviously have very high opinions of themselves – well, some at least.

In the lead, we have some very noble cities: Torino, Rome, Milano, Quebec, Athlone, Dresden, Paris etc; while a rather less glamorous herd canter behind: Mansfield, Southport, Cromer and Guildford for example. The Scottish Isles are coming up on the rails with Arran, Lewis, Skye, plus hangers-on Piper and Laird. Then we have the stragglers: rather surreal and off-message, geographically speaking, with Salvo (built-in rocket launcher?), Nero (tends to fiddle), Cluedo (wastes time with board games) and Chakra (no comment).

What are you sitting on? And don’t say “My arse”, à la Ricky Tomlinson, please!